boardinghouse reach
rootless and wild
a homeless vagabond
i roam the vast boardinghouse
that is the world
no matter the place
i am no family
no guest
only a stranger paying my way
from table to table
i make myself small
inconspicuous
as untroublesome as possible
yet when my money
or my usefulness
or both grow thin
i am once more on the move
what i would not give
to knock upon a door and be greeted
not as a presence to be tolerated
but as a member of the tribe within
i have not yet stumbled on
a mat whose welcome
is truly meant for me
i have not yet been invited
into a warm and cozy room
and wrapped in the mantle of belonging
no one knows better than i
i was a grievous error in the fabric
of at least two lives and maybe more
this thought is what i carry
in my rucksack full of thorns
as threadbare i seek a home
but find only
the grudging temporary shelter
of yet another cheerless bedroom
in a drafty hall
madness bespoke
madness takes many forms
each uniquely designed
to exploit the deepest fears
of the afflicted
those who crave the peace of solitude
are plunged into the hell
of a chorus of alien voices chanting
a discordant whirlwind of glossolalia
that resolves into harsh commands
urging the commission
of unspeakable deeds
implacable silence descends upon
the unfortunates who fear isolation
the world prisoned outside
a fishbowl of glass so thick
they can hear nothing
nor can they be heard
all made worse because
they can see out but no one looks in
and then there are the people like me
we who wonder why
when our every reason for living is gone
(swept away in tidal agonies
that rush in night after night
in the same unedited nightmare)
we are still here
our madness is subtle
condemned to wake day after day
into a world stripped of meaning
and go through the motions of being alive
when inside we carry nothing
but the cold and heavy ashes of dreams
RC deWinter’s poetry is anthologized in several collections, notably *Uno:
A Poetry Anthology *(Verian Thomas, 2002), *New York City Haiku* (NY Times,
2017), *Castabout Literature* (Dantoin/Hilgart, 6/2019), widely in print,
notably *2River, borrowed solace, Genre Urban Arts, In Parentheses, Night
Picnic Journal, Reality Break Press, Southword,* appears in numerous online
literary journals and has been nominated for two 2019 Pushcart Prizes.
*Dan Kozar, born in 1997, is an emerging artist originally from central Pennsylvania. He is currently a graduate student at the University of California, Davis in the Hydrologic Sciences program. Art has been an interest of his for as long as he can remember. With this being said, he has no professional training. His only aim is to be genuine.
